it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
