i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
