whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
