Christians are straight up FREAKS
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
True strength comes from lack of pants
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
