How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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