angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize