sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
