Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize