i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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