Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
