no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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