but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize