I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
