dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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