Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
