He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Terrible idea I love it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
