someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
