yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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