it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
