they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
