proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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