I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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