and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
third nipple confirmed
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
God, I missed his penis.
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