Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
