where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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