So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
