I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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