My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
