Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
