M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize