yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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