no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
