I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
