hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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