Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
