Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
