Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize