If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
