Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
