I seem to have left my pride at pride
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
