i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
