he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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