The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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