This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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