Non-Jews are for practice
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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