Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
