her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
