Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
