That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
