you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
love makes seman taste better
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize