I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
