The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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