Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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