You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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