What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
