Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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