Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
do herpes really smell.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
