Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
