Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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