Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
