my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
