Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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