it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
