i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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