You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
